Friday night Fun - A Word with Chester

Sifl and Olly talk to Chester about a fabulous moonlighting gig of his...

Hell hath no fury: Chicks Committing Crimes

Today's reports cover two incidents of chicks breaking the law.

The first story is from Kendall County. The Beacon News reports that bride-to-be Valerie J. Hardy, 24, was at the Kendall County clerk's office, applying for a marriage license, when temptation overcame her and she helped herself to cash from a bank deposit bag.
Hardy,of Plainfield, was completing paperwork around 10:30 a.m. when she removed money from the deposit bag, which was within her reach, authorities said.

Bridezilla pocketed the money and left the clerk's office, then hid the money in various locations throughout the Kendall County office building before returning to the clerk's office. Witnesses reported Hardy and she was confronted by sheriff's deputies and led them to each of her hiding places before she was taken into custody and charged with theft of more than $300. Deputies were able to recover all the scratch. Hardy's day worsened when she was searched and deputies found marijuana and drug paraphernalia on her.

In other CCC news (chicks-committing-crimes), a Wisconsin woman decided she was not going to take getting dumped by her boyfriend lying down. Kari Heath, 20, of Strum, is charged with a felony for allegedly posting a profile of her ex-bf on Craigslist under "casual encounters," according to the Sun-Times. Heath faces a charge of causing harm through identity theft, which could put her in jail for three years if convicted.

Police say the profile on the Internet Web site indicated the man wanted other men to call him at work and “talk dirty.”

When the man got a call at work from an unknown male who saw the Craigslist personal ad, the ex-boyfriend went on line and saw his profile and pictures. Then he called Altoona police.

Heath has an initial court appearance March 19.

Grammar Bitch HOPES this lesson is well-received

Tonight I have decided to enlighten all my readers on the proper use of the word 'hopefully.' Well, really, it shouldn't be used at all as it is ill- and mal- and wrongly-used pretty much across the board.

For example, this is how it is (ill-) used with frequency today:

"Hopefully I'll leave on the noon plane."

It's a very common usage, I know, but in truth it's use this way is just plain silly. "Hopefully" is an adverb that means 'with hope.' So, do you mean you'll leave on a plane in a hopeful state of mind? Or do you mean you hope you'll leave on the noon plane? Best to use the active voice and say 'I hope I leave on the noon plane.'

Grammar Bitch knows she is fighting an uphill battle as this usage is prevalent in everyday speech and in TV dialog. But I will admit it bothers me when I hear news announcers using it; the writers who write the copy should know better.

But just because a battle is difficult does not mean it should not be waged.

Purse-snatcher is asshat; just wanted to pay it forward

A nineteen-year-old Chicago asshat was having a bad day on Tuesday. So rather than just go home and lick his wounds, he decided to take another path. According to the Chicago Sun-Times, Zachary Goldak chose to ruin a 78-year-old woman's day by knocking her to the ground and ripping her purse from her hand. But he didn't get away scot-free; he was seen committing the gutless act and a Good Samaritan chased him down and called to other witnesses to call police. The GS caught up with Goldak as he tried to enter his apartment, grabbed him, retrieved the purse, and held him until police arrived.

Chicago po-po were reading the asshat his rights when he volunteered that he snatched the woman's purse 'because my day was ruined so I wanted to ruin someone else's.' He also said he 'needed the money.'

Goldak has been charged with felony robbery. His victim was taken to a local medical center and treated for a dislocated shoulder.

Stock up on ear plugs early

The Naperville Sun reports that several acts have been booked to play the annual Ribfest. Entertainers include Heart, Blue Oyster Cult and this sad news, Huey Lewis and the News. I have just never been a fan of that band. But at least H. Lewis has given up on acting.

Ancient Chinese secret may thwart emerald ash-borers

Emerald ash-borers, highly destructive insects that feed on and destroy ash trees, originated from China in the 1990s. Since then they have cut a path of destruction throughout North America destroying 25 million trees. Experts at the Morton Arboretum in Lisle have decided to look to Asia for a possible solution to the ash-borer plague and are hoping the land of their origin will crack the problem.

The Chicago Sun-Times reports Kris Bachtell, the arboretum's director of collections and facilities, recently returned from China's Shaanxi Province with ash, linden and maple tree seeds.

Arboretum officials think Chinese ash trees have evolved borer resistance over thousands of years. Shaanxi's climate resembles Chicago's. They have germinated the seeds and hope to mate them with North American ash species to create a beetle-resistant hybrid.

Emerald ash borers have destroyed 25 million North American ash trees and don't appear to be letting up. Their larvae feed on the inner bark, causing the trees to starve and eventually die.

The green half-inch beetles were found in Chicago two years ago. The city is home to more than 600,000 ash trees.

Naperville City Desk wishes to remind everyone not to transport firewood of any kind in order to slow the spread of the insect.

Thursday was a bad day for mailboxes

A scan of the police logs from the Naperville Sun reveals mailboxes have been the chosen target of ne'er-do-wells and roving bands of rabid mailbox haters:

2 Property damage: About 9:30 p.m., blunt object used to damage plastic mailbox valued at $40 outside home at 716 Colorado Court.

8 Property damage: Between midnight and 7 a.m., metal mailboxes damaged outside homes at 2628, 2632 and 2640 Hoddam Road; total damage estimated at $310.

9 Property damage: Between 11 p.m. Feb. 25 and 7 a.m., mailboxes and mounting posts damaged outside homes at 4516 and 4519 Pipestone Court; combined damage estimated at $40.

In other police news, a homeowner was the unhappy recipient of 8-inch-deep tire tracks left in 25-foot-long section of front lawn of a home at 1120 Langley Court, after a motorist drove over sod to avoid water in street; damage estimated at $200. Would it have been so hard to turn around and go another way?

And lastly, Theft: Between 2:30 and 3 p.m., state of Illinois vehicle registration sticker valued at $8 stolen from rear license plate of car parked in lot outside Marshalls, 240 S. Route 59.